How Doppler Radar and Social Networks killed the Snow Day: A Californian’s Working Thesis.

Fun fact: A school year is generally 9 full months, or 270 days.

Funner fact: In my 16ish years of attending school, I recall it being canceled ONCE.

That’s 144 months at 5 days per week; we’re looking at roughly 2,880 days, people. Only ONE day out of thousands of school days canceled. On 9/11, we were in school. When a prisoner escaped from CCD, where was I? I was on a playground playing tetherball with Sofia (or rather beating Sofia) without a care in the world, you know, with a prisoner on the loose. That day Beelard Drive flooded so terrifically that people were boating down the street – this sucker was holding down a desk, learning.

You can imagine my excitement when I move to the East Coast. Snow days have FINALLY become a reality (16 years later). I bought the heinous sleeping bag goose-down J. Crew jacket, a sensible knit beanie (even though I’m really not a hat person) and those regrettable mountain-man socks. (Don’t worry, I didn’t purchase any unfortunate, albeit practical, fingerless gloves. Style: Win.)

Anyway, when this blizzard was announced via Doppler radar, Internet, news, tweets, Facebook stati and eventually water cooler gossip, I was a bit upset that this wasn’t the morning-of cancellation I’d always dreamt of. Although, I’m flexible, I was still ready to seize my overdue snow day. But NO.

All the flurry of information did was warn city officials, overcrowd Trader Joe’s and give a heads-up to businesses. This forewarning lent ‘the man’ plenty of time to get their ducks in a row, shovels handy, salt sprinkled and snowmobiles gassed up. Thanks a lot, modern communication vehicles.

Work was still on. Oh, and all the NY schools were closed. Salt, meet wound.

Whatever, joke’s on those kids because our boss bought us pizza and beer for lunch. (What’d mom serve you? Grilled cheese and milk? Maybe 7Up? Losers.)

Bonus: We totally got to go outside and build an awesome snowman, not to mention the snowball fight. Booya.

Bonus to the bonus: There’s still time for another snow day. All I have to do is install some kind of citywide information firewall and we should be good to go.